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Plus, I’ve found that you can’t say, “I don’t drink” without an explanation. When men would ask me out for a drink, I found myself wondering if I wanted to use up my precious beverage experience that week on a stranger, or if I wanted to save it for friends.
I learned to say, “Would you rather go for coffee, or for a walk?
I was diagnosed on July 28, 2016, with stage two breast cancer and found out I had to start chemotherapy immediately.
I also learned that I had approximately 14 days until I would be bald from the chemotherapy, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Even though I had family, friends and a team of doctors around me working to keep me alive, my breakup made the diagnosis feel so real and I felt completely alone.
You know that ugly crying we do, that they don’t even really let actresses do in the movies because it is so hysterical and ugly? I was the biggest sob story you could imagine while talking to my best friends, who tried to calm me down, but how would they even know? They were still hot, and I was going to look like a bald old man.We were spooning in bed when he knocked my breast and noticed a hard lump—which you could only see if I was lying on my back braless for my boobs to fall naturally to the side.I thought at the time it may be a lymph node that was swollen or something.I called a close friend who happens to also be a psychologist to tell her what happened and I couldn’t even spit out these three small words: “I have cancer.” That statement would haunt me for the next few months.As I ventured into the world of chemotherapy, oncologist appointments and uncertainty about the future, I also unwittingly stepped into a new realm of dating and relationships—or, in some cases, the lack thereof.